Posted 4 hours ago

frosted:

tedthejinglebellhop:

fun fact one time robert pattinson was supposed to get punk’d at the bar where my cousin works and they got all the employees in on it and everything but when it came time to punk him his friends couldn’t get him to leave his house and that’s when I knew I loved robert pattinson

 

(Source: deanprincesster)

Posted 4 hours ago

bewbin:

LISTEN TO THIS RIGHT NOW

(Source: rock-lee)

Posted 4 hours ago

boypillow:

annoyingbloqqer:

life hack: kill everyone except ur crush so they’re forced to date u

image

Posted 4 hours ago

winchestersoldier:

this man is the highest paid actor in hollywood

Posted 4 hours ago

unacted:

relationship goal: a relationship

(Source: isilence)

Posted 4 hours ago
Posted 7 hours ago

vvebkinz:

i told my mom i needed new chapstick and she got me this

Posted 7 hours ago

charizard:

im not even gonna lie he look like the cow

(Source: unfrighty)

Posted 7 hours ago
Posted 7 hours ago
  1. (I am working late at night in a 24-hour pharmacy. There are only three customers in the store: a scruffy but clean young couple and another gentleman. The woman in the young couple is very heavily pregnant, and her partner is picking up the range of baby hats we carry and holding them up against her stomach, then looking at the prices and sadly putting them back. They pick up a packet of the cheapest pain medication we carry and bring it to the counter.)
  2. Female Customer: “I’m sorry, but can you please ask the pharmacist if these are safe for me to take?”
  3. Me: “Of course!”
  4. (While we’re waiting for the pharmacist to come out, they tell me they’re expecting their daughter any day now. The pharmacist has been watching the young couple since they came in.)
  5. Pharmacist: “These are fine, but can I ask why you need them?”
  6. Female Customer: “Oh, I have a horrible cough that’s making my back ache even worse. I can’t get to sleep.”
  7. (The pharmacist goes through a list of cough medicines safe for her to take, before the young man shakes his head with tears in his eyes.)
  8. Male Customer: “I’m sorry, I’ve just lost my job and we really can’t afford any of those. Sorry for wasting your time.”
  9. Pharmacist: “That’s okay, but this packet is damaged, and legally I can’t let you take it. Seeing as it was the last one, let me and [my name] go look in the back for some more.”
  10. (The pharmacist takes me out the back, where he puts three packets of name brand painkillers, four bottles of name brand cough syrup, a wheat bag for her back, a tin of formula, a packet of newborn nappies and a few of the hats the couple was looking at into a box. He hands me the box and tells me to take it out to them. I do and they both burst into tears, thanking us over and over again. They leave with huge smiles on their faces.)
  11. Female Customer: “Thank you again!”
  12. Other Customer: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but over hear. Did you say you just lost your job at [local company]?”
  13. Male Customer: “Yes, I was an IT tech.”
  14. Other Customer: “I own [other computer store in the area], and I’m looking for a new tech. Can you start tomorrow?”
  15. (There were tears all round that night. A week later, the young woman brought in her beautiful daughter and a giant batch of cupcakes for the pharmacy staff. Best night at work ever!)
Posted 8 hours ago
Posted 8 hours ago
Posted 8 hours ago

lucifeur:

upabovetheclouds:

Two more months and it’s 2015 what the fuck

I swear it was 2012 and we were all freaking out about the world ending like three months ago

Posted 8 hours ago

queen-of-fallen-angels:

jaxs-the-fallen-angel:

howling-rising-demon:

princess-dickhead:

delzdesigns:

Imagine having 2 dads, and then them divorcing and dating other men. Then you’d have 4 dads.

The amount of dad jokes…

"I’m hungry"
"Hi hungry, I’m dad."
"Hi dad, I’m dad too!"
"Hi dad too, I’m dad three."
"Hi dad three, I’m dad."

What have you done

image

Posted 8 hours ago

waitinforthebus:

ollivander:

THIS IS A REAL SIGN I JUST PASSED
DANNY DEVITO FOR MAYOR

the gang runs for office